Monday, April 15, 2013

Do you tell future SO's about past affairs?


Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.


Old Yesterday, 04:37 PM ? #9 (permalink)

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I don't think there is a really good time for this. If it were early in the relationship that someone admitted this, the SO could just say, 'Well, we're not serious, so it's not a problem.' And then when feelings develop, as they might, then it becomes a stumbling block. If you're later on in a relationship, it could seem like something of a betrayal to the SO to hear it only after things have become serious.

All in all, I'd vote for early, once things have gone past the very casual, but not yet very serious. It's a very hard thing. I think there are plenty of people out there for whom it would be a dealbreaker.

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Old Yesterday, 04:48 PM ? #10 (permalink)

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An absolute, unequivocal YES!

If you don't, that's your first secret ... many more to follow.

The only question remaining is when. I think early, you know, up there with any health related issues, mental health issues etc. I will likely start a conversation about relationships and then make it very clear how I have managed to grow from a very negative experience. If she's for me, she'll engage in the conversation and not take the information as a blow, or some kind of affront. If she takes it as an affront - not the girl for me, and move on.

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It takes years to build respect for a person, and seconds to loose it.
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I do not advocate, nor support anyone having an extramarital affair. I was the POSOM.

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Source: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/71446-do-you-tell-future-sos-about-past-affairs.html

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